So lately I've been feeling very sentimental. Philosophical even. I've been reading a lot of very good books and listening to a lot of very nice music. I am in a odd sort of limbo it my life right now where I don't want anything to change.
My peers and I are all getting ready for college and talking about future plans etc. and it's beginning to get sort of tedious. See, I am not that good with the social skills. And it has taken me a very long time to feel like I have any friends. I guess this is the reason for the title of this blog. The Disadvantages Of Being A Wallflower is an obvious reference to Stephen Chbosky's phenomenal novel The Perks Of Being A Wallflower. When I first started reading the novel I felt that Charlie wasn't in any way promoting the 'Perks' but all of the 'Disadvantages' and I began to refer to the book as that.
I felt that this blog should be called what it is for many reasons. The main one being that as I made this blog immediately after finishing reading the book and my empathy towards Charlie couldn't be any stronger. Everything he said or thought, the silly situations he got himself into, I related to most if not all of them. Being able to relate to a fictional character is a sort of blessing. If the emotion gets too strong you can just close the book, or turn off the TV. You don't owe the character anything, which means you can ignore them whenever you want.
It's hard to do that to real people.
In The Perks Of Being A Wallflower, Charlie treats his friends, Sam and Patrick specifically, how I like to treat mine. Just the little things like how he got them all graduation presents. Near the end of the novel Charlie says how he was scared of being alone once his friends go off to college. He actually specifies when it actually hit him that they were all leaving. This is a feeling I experienced just last week.
We were at a party, not unlike the parties they have in 'Perks', and one of my friends, probably my closet friend, told me which college they were going to. Out of everyone, they were the last one to choose what college to go to. They told me very abruptly and a whole load of emotions came over me. It was the first time it hit me that I was the only one of not just my friends but my whole year group that was going to the college I have chosen. All of my close friends are going to the same college.
Just like Charlie was scared of being alone, I am too. It really frightens me that I won't see my friends everyday and that I may lose them.
Please understand that this blog will not be a whole load of depressing entries about depressing things. It will be a place where I can write things about me and express my thoughts and feelings in a real way that I do try to do with my friends.
For now I will say 'see ya' as this will be the first of hopefully many and I do not feel a 'goodbye' is appropriate.
See Ya.
